AMERICA'S ADVENTURE IN OBAMALAND

I woke up Monday morning and what did I see? Barack Obama is now running General Motors and Chrysler! Am I still in America?

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen…
Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There

Welcome to America’s adventures in Obamaland! The president of the United States has just fired the chairman and CEO of GM and gave Chrysler 30 days to merge with Italian automaker Fiat, or else!

Only in Obamaland can a guy go from “community organizer” to president in a few short years. And now the guy who couldn’t run a lemonade stand without a government subsidy is running two of the largest auto makers in the world. Said Obama, “We cannot, and must not, and will not let our auto industry simply vanish.”

Notice he was not talking about just GM and Chrysler but the entire auto industry. Ford, which took no government money, and Honda and Toyota which don’t need it, are in his sights too. Imagine how the CEO’s of those companies must be feeling. They are now in competition with the guy that makes all the rules!

So what’s the plan? According to president and CEO Obama:

[I’m confident we can create] an auto industry that is once more out-competing the world; a 21st century auto industry that is creating new jobs, unleashing new prosperity, and manufacturing the fuel-efficient cars and trucks that will carry us towards an energy-independent future. I am absolutely committed to working with Congress and the auto companies to meet one goal: The United States of America will lead the world in building the next generation of clean cars.

In the old America, companies were in business to make a profit. They did this by providing a superior product or service at an affordable price. I see no mention of these concepts in Obama’s plan. No, the new goal of the American auto industry is to build fuel-efficient cars and trucks. Hope those market-hungry profiteers at Ford, Honda and Toyota are listening.

So, how is this going to work? As per their new “business plan,” GM and Chrysler will start building four-seater golf carts and selling them as the “next generation” of clean cars. The 10 or so honest and committed tree huggers in this country will get all excited and buy these cars. That won’t be enough, even for GM and Chrysler who have freed themselves from the chains of profit margins. If Ford, Honda and Toyota continue to make cars that people actually want to buy this will be a problem for the enlightened one. Obama might think profits are yucky but he’s not going to continue diverting tax money from Planned Parenthood and Acorn to prop up his new car companies. Obama noted that his sycophants in Congress have the solution:

Finally, several members of congress have proposed an even more ambitious incentive program to increase car sales while modernizing our auto fleet. And such fleet modernization programs, which provide a generous credit to consumers who turn in old, less fuel-efficient cars and purchase cleaner cars, have been successful in boosting auto sales in a number of European countries.

Oh yea! The benefits of a truly cosmopolitan president! When in doubt, look to the Euro’s! They can’t defend themselves but they are so sophisticated!

If that’s not enough, maybe he will raise the Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standards to a level only his car companies can meet.
Then there is his insane “Cap and Trade” legislation. Once he artificially raises the price of gas to five or six bucks a gallon, his piece of crap cars will start to sell. This has the ancillary benefit of getting brain dead Americans pissed at “Big Oil.” Then Obama can become CEO of an oil company too!

Some of you right wing extremists may call this the nationalization of the auto industry. Not to worry. Obama is an ardent capitalist and just loves the free market, “Let me be clear: The United States government has no interest in running GM. We have no intention of running GM.”

Doesn’t make sense? To understand Obama you need to study Humpty Dumpty:

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – nothing more nor less.” The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master – that’s all.”

Things in Obamaland are getting curiouser and curiouser!