LITMUS TESTS

We often hear the term “litmus test” whenever a Republican president nominates someone for the Supreme Court. Liberals always whine that conservatives have a pro-life litmus test for judges. Well, yeah, we do. For conservatives, the right to life is not a subject for debate and there is no room for compromise. The conservative philosophy has as its foundation the right to life. Liberals decry the litmus test as a simple minded approach to complex issues. Liberals fancy themselves as deep thinkers who engage in thoughtful consideration of all the nuances of a particular issue. Yeah right. The fact that a Democratic president would never nominate a pro-life person to the Supreme Court is evidence that they have litmus tests also.

I have several litmus tests that come into play at election time. With the presidential race getting near the end, I would like to demonstrate how these tests have helped me decide who to vote for.

LITMUS TEST NO. 1
Pro-life or pro-abortion?

This test supersedes all others. If the candidate is not pro-life than I will never vote for him. I’ve done a lot of crappy things in my life and I don’t need to add “supporter of killing babies” to the list.

OBAMA’S GRADE: FAIL MCCAIN’S GRADE: PASS


LITMUS TEST NO. 2
Enemy endorsements

Call me a right wing extremist but being endorsed by murderous thugs, maniacal dictators and terrorists does not help a guy get my vote. It is frightening to me who is saying nice things about Obama and in many cases offering their outright endorsement.
The following groups and individuals are apparently also looking for “change”.

HAMAS (Palestinian terrorist group)
“We don’t mind-actually we like Mr. Obama. We hope he will win the election…” I would prefer that these bastards not like our president. In fact, I believe it would be a good thing if these evil men were scared shitless of our president.

IRAN
Iran’s leadership has expressed “great pleasure” at the prospect of a Barack Obama presidency. One of those compassionate and reasonable imam’s over there said “If Obama will enter the White House, then Islam will conquer the heart of the American nation.” Well, isn’t that just marvelous. By the way, can someone tell me why a country that has a zillion barrels of oil feels the need to develop nuclear sources for energy? Our next president is going to have to deal with these guys.

AL-QAEDA
Just last week Al-Qaeda expressed hope that Bush and the Republicans would be humiliated in the upcoming elections. Who’s writing their press releases? The DNC?
I have a little rule of thumb-If it makes Al-Qaeda happy, I’m against it.

FIDEL CASTRO
Castro has called Obama “the most advanced candidate” in the race. Yeah, that Fidel is an expert at advancement. Just look how far Cuba has come since he took over 50 years ago.

MOAMMAR QADDAFI (de-facto leader of Libya)
President Reagan kicked his ass into obscurity but Obama seems to have brought him back. Referring to Obama, Qaddafi said “We tell him to be proud of himself as a black and feel that all of Africa is behind him…” Whatever.

OBAMA’S GRADE: FAIL MCCAIN’S GRADE: PASS


LITMUS TEST NO. 3
Teacher union endorsement

The Wisconsin Education Association Council (WEAC) is the largest teacher’s union in Wisconsin. I could be in a coma for six months and wake up on election day not knowing anything about the candidates or issues. If I had only 5 minutes to decide who to vote for, I would go to WEAC’s web site and find out who they endorse and then vote for the other guy. This is a rock solid test for me. I have never agreed with any significant position WEAC has taken. I’m sure you’ve heard their slogan “Every kid deserves a great school.” What a bunch of crap. The policies they support and the legislation they lobby for seem more directed at “Every teacher deserves a great job with no performance standards and parents should just shut the hell up.”

OBAMA’S GRADE: FAIL MCCAINS GRADE: PASS


LITMUS TEST NO. 4
Socialists, commies and assorted assholes
If these people want it, I don’t.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN – leader of the Nation of Islam

BLACK PANTHERS – Marxist/Maoist African-American organization

JODI EVANS – Co-founder of the anti-war group Code Pink

JANE FONDA – The bitch is back

SEAN PENN, et al – Hollywood stars that confuse fame with intelligence.

COMMUNIST PARTY USA – Worked so well in Russia, why don’t we try it?

PLANNED PARENTHOOD – Abortion, Inc.

BILL AYERS – Domestic terrorist, socialist and friend of Obama.

ARAB AMERICAN ACTION NETWORK – No thanks.

All of these individuals or groups support Barack Obama.

OBAMA’S GRADE: FAIL MCCAIN’S GRADE: PASS
There you have it. Four reasons among many why I will be voting for John McCain.