REAL CHANGE

The election of Barack Obama as president has got me rethinking my political aspirations. I have always considered myself pretty much unelectable to any position above the level of county government. The president elect has given me new hope. (By the way, I had never even heard of The Office of the President Elect before Obama came around. What power does this office have, I wonder.) The media’s thorough vetting of Obama has revealed his life experiences to be eerily similar to my own. Check this out:
We’re the same age. Obama has two kids, as do I. Obama served several years in the State legislature and then the U.S. Senate while accomplishing nothing. I was on the City Council and then the County Board for several years and I didn’t get anything done either. Our knowledge of economics is comparable. I’ll admit I’m no expert. Obama may be highly educated but anyone who subscribes to Marx’s theory of surplus value doesn’t know shit about economics either. Foreign policy experience? Let’s score that nil-nil. Weird huh? Of course, there are differences. For instance, I’m not buddies with any former terrorists and my “spiritual advisor” is not a racist bigot with a stutter. The priest at my church has never screamed “god damn the U.S. of KKKwanza. And my dad was not a drunken philanderer with several wives. Beyond that, I think a reasonable person could conclude that I am just as qualified as Obama to be President of the United States. Our similar backgrounds, however, would not lead to similar governance.

THE STRUCTURE OF GOVERNMENT

Obama and his lefty colleagues and supporters don’t seem to have any problem with a selective application of the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. Some Amendments, like the 9th and 10th, are just ignored. Other’s, through some linguistic voodoo, are interpreted as to provide a legal justification for some liberal cause. Only some lefty could read the 2nd Amendment and conclude that only the government can have guns. It is liberals that insist that rapists and murderers be provided air conditioned cells with cable T.V. because the 8th Amendment prohibits cruel and unusual punishment. It’s time our side did a little creative interpretation of our own. My administration would start with the 1st Amendment, which reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech,
or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to
petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

I will take the position that the specific listing of certain constraints on congress should not be construed to mean there are not others. In fact, for purposes of brevity and perhaps to clarify, I suggest we shorten it up to:

Congress shall make no law.

That ought to do it. Now that they have nothing to do, Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank et.al. will be sent home immediately. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reed, however, will be sequestered in a Motel 6 until he has written a personal letter of apology to every member of the armed forces for his deplorable and irresponsible comment that “The war in Iraq is lost” in 2007. He will then be sent back to Nevada on a Greyhound bus.

Now that my “Constitutional Dictatorship” is in place, we can start fixing things.
TO BE CONTINUED