COLLECTIVE BARGAINING & OTHER LIBERAL NONSENSE - PART 2

Two weeks later Roland is back at the District GAS Station. After a 30 minute wait, he is directed to the office of Mr. Doyle, State certified arbitrator. Doyle offers a soft and clammy hand in greeting. “Hi Roland. Please have a seat.” Roland takes a place at a large conference table where Mr. Kohl and Mr. Feinwad, along with four men he has never seen before are already seated. Dolye takes his place at the head of the table. “I have reviewed this case and I am confident that my ruling will find agreement with all parties.” begins Doyle.
“Excuse me,” replies Roland, “You've already made your decision?”
“Yes, it was a pretty straight forward case.”
“Don't I get to say anything?”
“Of course Roland, What would you like to say?”
Pointing at the four suits Roland says, “Who are these guys?”
“They are council for Mr. Kohl and Mr. Feinwad. Anything else?”
“Well, what is your ruling?”
“I have ruled that the proposals offered by Mr. Kohl and Mr. Feinwad are reasonable and customary. Your have been awarded four new Adequate brand tires, a brake job and a new muffler system for the negotiated price of $3600.”
“What, that's it?”
“Pretty much.”
“All I wanted was four decent tires! Now I got all this other crap that I don't want or need and can't afford!”
“Well Roland, it has been well documented that you are not an automotive expert. What your car needs should be left to the experts. Furthermore, your claim as to affordability is irrelevant.
State arbitration law allows me to basically ignore your ability to pay. My responsibility is only to evaluate how your deal compares with what other GAS Stations are offering. When I did this, as I said in my ruling, your deal is reasonable and customary.”
“This is outrageous!”
“I think you should be happy Roland. The initial offer was four tires for $4000. You now get tires, new brakes and a new muffler for $3600. The union has clearly bargained in good faith here.”
“It's only a good deal when you compare it with the insanely bad deal they started with!
I might as well forget the whole thing and buy a new car!”
“You should have thought of that before you agreed to binding arbitration,” replied Mr. Doyle
“You are now legally bound by my ruling.”
Roland slumped in his chair. “I'm going to have to get a short term loan for the $3600. Probably take me a few days.”
“Make that loan for $8600, Roland. It is your obligation to pay for this hearing.”
Something struck Roland like a bolt of lightening. Maybe an epiphany, maybe an aneurysm.
He rose from his chair, turned to Mr. Feinwad and blasted him right in the face. He then took his seat and watched with amusement as Mr. Doyle opened the window behind him and jumped out, Mr. Kohl scurried under the table and the lawyers ran screaming out a side door.

EPILOGUE

Roland was arrested and charged with battery. Unfortunately, an overzealous prosecutor attached a hate crime enhancer to the charge arguing that Roland hated all government employees. He was convicted and sentenced to five years in state prison.

Mr. Feinwad sued Roland in civil court for his medical expenses and mental anguish. He retired on full disability from his Government Automotive Service job and now spends his time traveling the world as part of his therapy.

As a result of the civil suit, Roland and his wife were wiped out. His wife and kids now live with her parents. She works two jobs and feels blessed to have her parents help.
On the bright side, she now qualifies for free automotive care.

POSTSCRIPT

While a mere product of my imagination, this story does portray an accurate scenario as to the insidious nature of collective bargaining in the public sector and liberal silliness in general.

Many liberals are perfectly willing to lie and obfuscate to defend the indefensible. As a principled conservative, I don't do that. Liberals might say that Obama hasn't declared “car care” a right or nationalized the auto service industry and they are right. A few short years ago this would have been a ridiculous notion. I'm sure that many would agree with me that this does not seem to be much of a stretch in today's America.

The collective bargaining scenario in the story is based on fact. School Districts in Wisconsin must work within a system where virtually every aspect of their employees (teachers) work environment is subject to negotiation. Teachers have input regarding class size, school hours, the school calender, curriculum and all their sundry benefits. School Districts have essentially no flexibility. Any changes, however minor or beneficial to the District, are perceived as “concessions” by the union and require some form of compensation. There is no mechanism to actually cut costs.

A 2009 report by the U.S. Department of Education indicates that 66 percent of Wisconsin eighth graders could not read at a proficient level.

The Gas Station Trust is a reference to WEA Trust, the health insurance provider for approximately 80 percent of the School Districts in Wisconsin. WEA Trust is owned by WEAC, the States largest teachers union.

In the last biannual budget, Gov. Doyle did away with the Qualified Economic Offer (QEO),
the only option available to Districts to control costs and avoid arbitration. Not only did Doyle make arbitration more likely, he also removed a provision in the law that required arbitrators to give “greatest weight” to local economic conditions and how they affect a community's ability to pay. Basically - “Screw you taxpayers. If you can't afford it, go borrow the money!”